Accepting that You Can’t Change People… or Subscribers or Inbox Providers

You can’t change people. You can only change how you react to them.

That is something we say a lot in our household. It’s a hard-won pearl of wisdom from years of working with therapists so my wife and I can be better parents to our autistic son, be better spouses to each other, and better cope with the passing of our parents and other stresses.

I’ll be honest, this lesson has been particularly hard for me to learn. Empathy is hard. It can be difficult to accept that other people don’t view things in the same way you do, and that other people’s logic doesn’t work like yours does. That kind of acceptance can be painful, even identity-crushing.

I see this same resistance in some of my fellow marketers, who resist accepting the email channel as it is, especially as it evolves. Instead, they try to bend it so it conforms to their worldview. Consumer behaviors become problems. Inbox providers’ rules become unfair. Blocklist operators’ actions become unjust.

Here are some examples of marketers struggling unnecessarily against the realities of the email channel…

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